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何があたしの幸せ？
Saturday, August 16, 2008 @ 10:21 pm
何があたしの幸せ？ (nani ga atashi no shiawase = what is my happiness)

that's my tittle for today....today, there's alumni pract. that time phoebe went to ask for me if i could join. then ms chan said that she dun mind me joining...i text-ed my mum to ask if i could join...surprisingly, she said yes... i was like jumping for joy? but after band, ms chan said that she doesn't want to see me only after my exam..obviously, i got very upset... reason as to why she did that is still the same. She doesn't want my mum to make noise if she saw my results..

i kept on saying ms chan reject me.. ms chan reject me... but on my way home, i was thinking... she rejected me because she had a reason to.. because it will be very irresponsible of me if my mum forced me to quit band when she sees my term 3 report slip.. and then i have to quit halfway...understood.. i dun blame her for that.. i have only myself to blame on...

in the past, i always say to myself... i am sensible... is just that i chose to be willful.. because i always think that... being sensible means you cannot fool around... i'm escaping from the truth that i can and i am sensible..who says being sensible cannot play around? playing around in a sensible way is also fun... so why not? i used to want too much of attention from ppl.. maybe because i dun get it in my hse... but... it's okay now... because i know i still got ppl who would care for me even if i dun get attention... for those out there who thinks that you have no friends or what bloody things.. think again.. is it really that you have no friends? or you have the tendency to think that nobody wants to be your friend... it's always with the mindset... if you really bother to make some true friend, you can be sure that they will be there for you.. because in turn, you would be there for them too. it's not some good feeling to be betray and betray your friends. neither do being left out by your friends... ppl need certain attention... the more quiet people are, they more they need attention... last time, i used to have a lot of 'friends'... they are more of like school mates then friend... it was only months ago then i realize the truth definition of friend... and i realize who are those friends around me... those who are confirm that you are my, then you are... you have to be confidence about who your friend are... and whose friend are you... always use your heart to see...by saying use your heart to see means that, you use your eyes to see, use your brain to think lastly, use your heart to feel.

it's very important to have ppl around who supports you... everyone will have at least one.. if you dun have one know, doesn't mean you won't have one in the future. you can't force a person to be your friend... but, you can make sure a friendship is develop within the person/people you want to be friends with.. you can't force a friendship to come..but it doesn't mean you don't go and look for one. friendship is not like romance where when it comes on it's own. you have to look for it... but nv forcing.... i believe that in this human race, if you treat your friend the correct way, and your friend treat you back in the same way, there can be friendships that last very long.. even maybe until you die...*touch wood*

okay i'll stop here.... you must be thankful that i'm in the mood to write this kind of things.. i'm just joking.. .=.-

けい
Xinhui~^_^V

p.s i had sent a letter to HSJ days ago (12/08/08) to be exact, and i'm still thinking about it.. ahahah.. just hope that they received it.. ^_^ (i know it's crazy) anyway, to BM, don't think so much lah.... that day will come where you can use the loud haler to announce to the whole world that you like that person a lot. jia you orh! :)

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