刚刚去了亚纶的博客看了一下
才发现其实他的好朋友死了
让我想起在我小二时失去的那位好朋友
她叫tan ning
小时候友谊比较单纯吧不会想太多
当我知道,
她是发高烧去的当时，
我的记忆是说我没有哭
回到家第一件事跑回房间锁起来哭
好想哭得满久的
tan ning她现在不知道在哪里了投胎转世
还是在保护我们那一群的好朋友
好想哭
我不想在失去哪一个朋友
或许是因为她吧
让我发现我不能在失去朋友
所以每当我失去一个朋友
我会在哭
我也不明白
如果有一天我去了
有谁会替我哭泣？
如果有的话伤心哭泣
两个星期就够了
如果哪天我去了
知到有人替我难过替我哭泣我会很满足了
因为生老病死是一种cycle
死是一定的
没有长命百岁
是有人活到百多岁
但大多数是活不过80
最可悲因该是死了没人在伤心没人在哭泣
那个人生前因该是做了很多坏事吧
但
不管那个人有多坏
始终，起码会有一个人在哭那或许是他的家人
人质出行本善
一定是莫些事情让他改变才会变成这样
我一直深信着这个
其实
大概在我小三时还不是那么董事
我哥被鱼骨哽到
没进医院只是去了诊所
当时我因该还是爱着我的家人
当时我很怕我哥会死
很白痴对吧?
我还不知道鱼骨哽不死人
之后我哥连续几次被鱼骨哽到
害得我现在对鱼有点恐惧
不时看到鱼就怕
只是不敢吃鱼
算一算
我大概是有好几年没吃鱼了
最近，有一餐
我妈逼我吃鱼
那一餐我吃得很痛苦
那时我要到一个硬硬的东西
我把嘴里的东西
全都吐出来
我把饭里剩下的鱼统统放在一边，
丢掉我很不了我妈
我不知道
我只知道
我现在好想哭好想大哭一场
却一直没有机会
在我妈的‘道理’
唯独她能发脾气我们不可以
在家每一个情绪只能隐藏
我很厌倦这种家庭
家不像家
我真的好想抱着我其中一个好朋友
大哭
好想哭好想哭
眼泪却票不出
我的心很不舒服
我好想好想面对面的对一个我很信任的人
统统说出来
憋在里面真得很不舒服
我现在真的是憋的很辛苦啊
好想把那些被我关进牢的东西统统放出来
门却死死不肯打开不管我怎么求
它死就是不开
唯一开的时候就是把新的‘囚犯’关进去
门开只是那一瞬间
被囚禁的根本没法子逃出去
它们一直在说：放我们出去啊！
我却只能回答：对不起。我也很想但是门死都不肯开。我也没力气把们硬拉开。
看着它们每一个伤心的脸
我的心很痛
里面关着一些很久很久我没有的感受到的emotion
那些小时候开心的
一直不能被释放好多好多事情好想跟一个我信任的人讲
每次都会有事情发生
要吗没接电话
不然就是妈妈在场不能用
不然就是打通了我却不敢讲结果就一直闷一直闷
我的心就好像一栋监牢又搞又厚的墙壁里面囚禁了我所有的emotion
喜怒哀乐
从小到大
慢慢消失的感觉与心情
统统被逼进了监牢
有几个朋友成功的爬过了那到又搞又厚的墙
虽然我没别抓进去
但
那真正的我却在里面很久了
我就被放在一间房子里
虽然可以到处走
但
权力不在于我
朋友爬过了墙
但
墙的对面却埋伏着人
一旦朋友过去了就会抓起来
丢进我那间房
他们一点机会也没有
没有机会帮我释放那些被囚禁的东西
那一直都是我很遗憾的东西。。

Monday, June 18, 2007 @ 8:15 am

first:

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!! to daddy and azri.. lol lol

and ofcoz to all the fathers out there..

and

2nd:

THX CHEE SAN!!

wakaka for sending me the songs..

muahahah

hais..

and sry arh daddy..

say so many things... =xx

hais..give up ler...

they dun want come i also can do nth..

xinhui!!

dun forget no matter wad happen..

daddy will be there der... dardar also.. jonathan... looi meimei...

ah yi... onee-chan... and many more...

cheer up!!

wakakaka

okay lah... go read my bk ready(not so hardworking.. lol lol) is the pyscologic bk.. lol lol

ja~


xinhui~^_^V

Sunday, June 17, 2007 @ 12:13 pm

one of the pics that i took with them
-->wan kee,me,mian woon(i like this one most!)

abit funny lah.. quite strech out..
me,wankee,mianwoon

eating cake!!(my bdae?? lol lol)
mianwoon,me,wankee


hey..we are not jumping.. lol lol
mianwoon,me,wankee

shit..eeyer!! so smelly..lol lol
mianwoon,me,wankee


same as the 2nd one
mianwoon,me,wankee(i like this one)

all the neo we take lah.. lol lol... the 2 that are quite strech out.. actually is long one..

coz i want to fit into my msn DP so...hehe

ouh and..i sort of manage to tie my hair up... lol lol

but abit funny lah..

maybe will try tying one the first day?? lol lol

maybe going out with the gurls(the organ gurls)

on tues.. to look at our clothes!! wakaka lol lol

okay lah..

ja~

xinhui~^_^V

@ 10:01 am

tadaima!

lol

that stupid wen jie.. lol

he almost did that 'thing' to me...

grab my hand and... ahem.. dardar noe lah..

lol

aiyah today nth much to say... lol lol

ja~


xinhui~^_^V

Saturday, June 16, 2007 @ 10:04 am

firstly SORRY TO LK!!

lol

typo typo.. gomen gomen

today finally get to see mian and kee!!

so happy

but small kee..

sick T_T

went to take neo with them...

eat lunch... go library...watch movie

men in white

damn idoitic lor.. lol lol

but also quite nice lah..

i didn't noe that men in white got sad part also.. lol

cried lah.. but alittle only..

today morning on my hp.

then noe got sect. today

lol lol

so nv go sect.

then st.bass all 3 also not going

fiz also..haikal go malaysia..

eugene dun say lah..

then left kai and feng

lol lol

sad sia..lol

that stupid daddy

fr morning 9++ call till 11++

then pick my call..

is like he slp until that time

heng i tell jon ready..

nobody ask you chat until 3++ am right..

aiyo..

then by your age.. slp 7 hour enuff liao lor..

3++-10++ shld wake up ler bah..

11++ then call me back.. lol lol

nvm lah..

joking lah.. lol lol

take care take care..

ppl must take care hor..

wakaka

i saw 3 trumpetor today

zameer,nayven and peishan

peishan rashes look much better lol lol..

take care arh..

wonder wad they did for sect. today.... lol lol

take care lah..

went to library borrow bks after they went..

borrowed a guide japanese bk...1 psycologic bk and 2 philosophy bk...

lol amazing that i nv borrow a fiction bk.. lol lol

i sort of wish to be a psycologist or counsellor

lol lol

amazing mian me and kee... all want to take bio next yr..

when we meet each other we was like..

tok tok tok.. none stop

long time nv see mah

lol

take care lah guys

going off eating my dinner..

hungry... ittadakimas!!

lol

ja~


xinhui~^_^V

Friday, June 15, 2007 @ 1:54 pm

i miss you guys!!(YHCB)

just one day only..

lol

ytd cried myself to slp.

miss ya guys too much ler mah...T_T

usually (for the 5 day) morning wake up will hv breakfast(after fall in)

then today wake up, no breakfast to eat(nth to eat) dun nid fall in...

then can't get to eat in big grps..

i seriously miss the days that we hv fun sia..(which is only 5 days ago?)

miss ya guys...

T_T

how i wish band camp can be longer...

we do everything tgt

puinish tgt

play tgt

eat tgt

practically lah...

not really all

bath not tgt(although same timing)

i really miss those days...

how i wish we can hv another band camp...T_T

although 5D4N sounds long

but still very short sia..

shld hv 10D9N..=xx

joking joking..

lol lol

still rmb on the 4th night

stil practicing danc steps with shaf,liyana,kaijun,xiuhui and mariyya..

lol lol

fun sia..

really looking forward to the next few practice that we are going to hv...

T_T

how i wish we can hv more band camps..

T_T

lol lol

i miss daddy and all the ex-members too...T_T

daddy...hehe

I LOVE YOU DADDY!!

lol lol

i miss you too dardar..

T_T

must hurry up feel better okay?? lol lol

take care..i go watch tv and look for somthing to eat..

lol i miss daddy's milo...JOKING LAH!

i just sort of miss everything that we had done during band camp..

the 'encounters' that we had...

jia you YHCB! especially sec 2s

our 1ST concert!!

my first concert with you guys..

nv regret going into concert band..

just love you guys!!

take care

ja~


xinhui~^_^V

Thursday, June 14, 2007 @ 9:12 am

finally back fr home... wakaka..

looking forward for concert.. wakakak and other practice with the ex-members and bandsmen..

so FUN!! although was 'hard training'

BUT then WAS STILL DAMN FUN!!

lol lol

those hu going to cocnert... keep looking forward bah!!
lol lol

to all yuhua bandsmen.. no matter ex-member or now der..

thankew..

happy meet ALL of you..

and hard work for all the EX-MEMBERS!!

'guarding' all of us last night!!

domo arigatou gozaimashita!

overall the WHOLE camp was FUN FUN FUN!!

wakaka

okay lah.

i 5 days nv touch com... my bed everything.. nw going bath! wakaka stay 1 hr in bathrm..

no lah.. jkjk

okay take care!!

DARDAR!! sick ler... T_T so xin tong..

take care hor.. not feeling well.. go home see doct hor!

take care bandsmen

concert coming ler!!

gampate!!

we can do it!!!

xinhuI~^_^V

Friday, June 08, 2007 @ 11:59 am

ytd nv update.. was searching for my new blogskin..

FOUND IT!! cute hor.. my bro helped me in edicting

arigatou!!

but just dunno y..

the word(extra) just wun fit into the row..

then nvm lor..

i nw searching for a new one... wakakka lol lol

ytd i had a weird dream....

how to say... ermmm

is like this...

my twin bro..

he open a lunchbox

then his death was predicted...

something like this

havent finish.. then i wake up ready... lol lol

today got band!

tmrr band camp ler..

5D4N...wakakakka lol lol

still hv to help LG bring tray... wakaka lol lol

dun so many wakaka lol..

later that eugen come tell me again...(btw is eugene GOH.. not PUNG)

you want to hv how many wakakak arh? wakaka lol lol

later complain my post dun hv his name... nah.. big big one EUGENE GOH..

happy?? lol lol..i dun care.. i wun edict ler hor....

i noe you see ler comfirm ask me to edict... lol lol

okay lah..rong spelling i noe... aiyah..

bad at spelling.. i guess most of them noe ler hor..

hehehe.. wen jie... kekekeke... lol lol

i found out one thing

when i am chatting in msn

i type the word SAME arh..

i will type as: smae..

lol lol

the 'm' just come out like that..

funny sia.. .lol lol

nw re-watching smile pasta.. lol lol

xiao shi and he qun.. soooo cute..

ah zhe.. wa sai.. one word.. SHUAI!! lol

okay lah...

i go watch..

then about time... watch finish, find blogskin... also time for me to go out ler... wakkaka lol lol

onee-chan bao zhong..

da sao ye shi..

ja~

xinhui~^_^V

Thursday, June 07, 2007 @ 9:55 am

tadaima!!

firstly...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WEN JIE!!

lol

i still owe you 16 birthday whacks... wakakaka lol lol

fri!! promise..

this thing dun nid promise lah... lol lol

today band was fun!!

lol

sight read...1/2 piece...

hehe STM mah... lol lol

yah then was fun

then after every thing

papa want to see us wad..

lol lol was fun..

it's forever fun with basses family... lol lol

love them... ^^

then... actually got quite a few things want to blog... hehe but too lazy lah..

sweat too much today...(morning fall in... )(evening 'punishment')

so quite lazy... so... yah

lazy... lol lol

ja~


xinhui~^_^V

Tuesday, June 05, 2007 @ 11:27 pm

wakakaka

2 days nv update ler..

wakakaka..

T_T

other ppl sold ticket ler..

my one still zero(0).... T_T

sob sob..

sad leh... lol lol

ytd chat with aNTi xiao-jie

wakakaka long time nv call him that...

come to think of it..

he seems to hv quite a no. of names wor... haha lol lol

..i miss dardar.... lol lol

nvm... tmrr can see her.. and erin too!! wakaka..

i miss some sec 5s... wakaka...

SOME hor.. not one.. but dun wan say hu... wakakakaka... more then 2... haha

lol lol

just get in contacts more sometimes with sec 5s then 4s..haha lol lol..

how i really miss the days when we were small..

life... was much more simple last time..

haha maybe

the complicated world outside...

maybe i can't survie outside??

lol i dunno..

seriously..

stress..

does not fit in our age NW only..

other ppl suffer more then us... maybe in other country??

wadever it is..

one day we stay in singapore, one day we dunno how hard other ppl suffer...

but for those hu suffer so hard..

yet didn't collapse..

a thumbs up ^^

ppl..

let work hard tgt!

was quite happy for the pass few days...

but coz ytd cannot slp..

cry myself to slp... wakaka

not becoz sad hor

is cannot slp... lol lol

=xx

ask xiao jie to help me make blogskin... but dunno if he agree...

waiting.... I'M WAITING!!!

lol like wad..

I AM WAITING FOR YOUR BLOGSKIN.. not you... lol lol

haha

okay lah..

i go eat breakfast..

btw.. eaten your breakfast guys??

dun mistreat your stomach eh?? >_+..

take care guys..

miss ya lots...

xinhui~^_^V

meow~~~ lol lol

long time nv meow ppl ler.. wakakak lol lol

Sunday, June 03, 2007 @ 11:21 am

today is my uncle's ROM..

congrates!!

haha

becoz my father, my brother(twin)and me

the chinese wadever(when you are born in) are chicken mah

then my uncle's clash with us..

so ending cannot see him sign the paper lor

hehe

but in exchange,

the three of us

went walking around..

hehe

took some pics with my bro's hp..

coz nv bring cam

then my hp the cam no very gd.. and cannot put in com..

then the rest DURING my uncle signing the cert,

can only take fr my other uncle's cam ler..

my uncle's wife bought me a bag

although it is a bit of childish..

but then..

thx for that..

AND!!

i got my new ear-piece

wakakaka lol

the dunno wad plant..just took it for fun... =xx

some chilli plant?

wakaka... the letter box... first time see this kind.. wakakaka... my dad say this is the only one left in s'pore..hmmm real or not.. i dunno.. ^^

ROMM =xx

my dad's plastic $5..

canh say is my new headset bah.. =xx haha lol

yah..still got alot of pics..

hehe... but too lazy to update... wakaka... lol lol

ja~

xinhui~^_^V