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What's this man? What's going on with me? =(
Wednesday, April 23, 2008 @ 7:45 pm
hais... skipped lunch today... *that's nothing abnormal...* i think my stomach got used to that.. skipping meals now and then... i know i know.. not good for my stomach or gastric.. what to do? rushing for time just because i never study properly....

after AS, have to go for eng remedial. lucky i got do the work.. *not really lah actually* then just left a few more mins.. i chiong to look for Mr Tan H.K... for chem thing.. then end up i cannot even add any single marks.. which means, i fail my chem again... by one mark. then i actually have about 5 mins left... but, because of my maths.. i went back to study, leaving my lunch alone.. then after maths... (which end around 445pm) i study phys that's after that... (which i start around 5++) then i left school about 6++ reached home around 630. Now, 716, sitting in front of my com, typing my blog.

hais.... i can't believe that i spent 15 mins doing nothing but worrying.... even my mother tongue drop... 60++ marks... when my mum expect me to be getting As... great. I've upset my mum with very damn ass results... EM congruent & similarity.. fail by 2 marks... Chem fail by 1 marks... Chi, got B instead of A... EVEN NIC AND MJ COULD GET HIGHER THAN THIS AND I'M FUCKING HELL INSIDE THE FIRST CLASS OF MT. wtf...

read Kamichan's blog..it seems like his in his bad mood. Leaving him in his own spring depression.

[Sometimes ridiculously small things, that on a normal day you’d just shrug off, keep nagging at you for no apparent reason. Sometimes several of them just pile up into a wall that seems unsurmountable. On a normal day you’d just walk around that wall, but sometimes that wall is creating a circle around you. You can’t go back, you can’t go forward, can’t go to the left or to the right. So you end up spinning around, getting dizzy, looking for a way out that just doesn’t seem to be there unless you rediscover your ability to fly or that pouch of pixie dust that Tinkerbell once left for you but you forgot where you put it. It’s not that I don’t believe I can fly. I believe I can. But what’s the point of flying when all it helps you do is to be able to look down at all the crap that you have to get back down to anyway?]

took it from Kamichan's post. It make sense a lot to me.. is like even if you could fly out, the wall of problems would still be there.. they might even be too tall for you to fly out. You could just walk round and round and round... nobody could come in, you couldn't go out. You can only solve it so that the wall would disappear. But.. it's very tedious. you have to do it all alone... friends could only be outside, encouraging you. *that do helps sometimes*

[I can’t stand then it’s people pitying me, or even worse, trying to help me when they don’t even know what the problem is. I don’t need any help, don’t want any help. When I’m in a pissy mood I usually want to be left alone so I can deal with it because, quite frankly, the person best equipped to deal with my own misery is me. But don’t worry, I’ll be fine. Sooner or later I’ll be fine again.]

another part from Kamichan's post. People who are trying to help when they don't even know if the person who is in trouble needs/wants help. those people are call busybodys. but, when the person in trouble, requested help, even if those helpers can't help, they are still glad. Because they admitted that they need help, although problem not solved, at least people whom they asked help from listened to them. Tried to help. I believe they would be very happy and glad.

my mum's back. I have to face it. before my wall start to stack higher and higher that i can't even fly up to catch my breath.

okay.. go ahead and say that i'm emoing... let me stay in this mood... up till i know what to do.. life really sucks when you are in the inner side of the wall.. it sucks totally..

everyone are in studying mood.. *iguess?* MYE reaching. so it's very, extremely normal...

everyone take care okay? Shuyi chicken pox...get well soon... azri too..


Kei
Xinhui~^_^V

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