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Friday, February 16, 2007 @ 7:58 am
actually, to say the truth,

i am actually jealous about those hu get more attention...

i feel so left out.. .everytime...i just feel like keeping quiet... dun feel like toking..

dunno if is PMS.. wadever it is.. but i dun feel like doing anything..

i always feel that i comfirm will be the odd one.... no matter at wad i do... forever

i dun make a gd monitress, a gd fren, a gd buddy, a gd sister, a gd husband(to all my dars),not a gd daughter(to daddy) not a gd person

i'm not gd at anything

i dun make a gd thing out of all my things

i hate being this kind of me

i hate not being gd at anythings...

so wad i noe things that other ppl dunno

so wad?

i dun feel like doing anything...

i feel so left out... so left out... yes...sumtimes i get focus... so wad?

just a few mins

will not go any longer then 1 hrs... i really very jealous and envy of those hu gets attention

when i was needed to be left alone, i was surrounded..

when i wanted attention.. no one bothers..

i dun make a gd leader... i think leader is the worst post i would ever make... ever

i feel like just crying all out.. but was stop everytime... when somoeone wanted to cry

i feel like just letting them cry all they want.. after crying.. they will feel better

some noe how to let things out

some dun

some can only cry

by stopping them.... makes them feel worse...

like me.. i dunno how to let things out..

i can only be myself when i am on msn..(sort of)

i can let things out more easily then i face to face..

no use asking me wad happen... like that time.. jon was like asking me wad happen.. i can only cry

dar dar also.. keep on asking me wad happen.. i can only shut up.. i wanted to let out everything..

but it can't be done...

i'm all over.. nth seems to work out for me.. nth

band, sch,monitress..

i screw up everything..

EVERYTHING... every

sick and tired of having to bother bout this bout that..

dun bother ppl say you cold blood... bother too much.. ppl say you kpo

y nth works out for me? y?

sick and tired to everyday hving to bother about tmrr.. tmrr wad will happen.. how to take care of this and that.. sick and tired

can anyone just get me over?

feel like just knock my head on to the wall or table.. just crack my head and let me die will ya?

sick and tired of doing this dumb ass thing.. feel like just leaving things undone and let it die..

if it survies then it's gd.. if it dosen't then too bad... let it die.. let it be the last thing i ever bother...

let it be....

ppl expect too much fr me... too much...

too much untill i cannot breath... cannot breath... i can just die of lack of oxygen.. shld just do that...

maybe the real me is a emo one... maybe

i really want to noe.. which is the real me.. the real one..

not the one with half of the mask or even just a conner that covers my eye...

is a real me.. without a mask..

i dun even noe which is the real me.. even at home.. i am still wearing a mask.. a mask that is harder then wad i wear to sch... too hard and heavy for me to wear..

my neck is getting too heavy...

too heavy for me to run about and be myself.. too heavy..

i'm sick.. real sick.. sick of having to worry about things that are going to happen...

i am sick , tired and scare of life

something is going to happen soon

something...


xinhui~^_^V(my trade mark)